Often when we think about grief and loss we think about losing a person, and most typically, losing a person to death. This is a narrow definition, because there are many other types of human experiences that can trigger the feeling of loss, resulting in grief. One example is the loss of a place.
Places, as much as people, can become part of our identity. A restaurant we visit on Tuesday evenings for an enjoyable meal, an exercise class surrounded by people we have become familiar with, a store where we have come to memorize the location of our items, a hiking trail which we have meandered for many years, an office space which felt conducive to success and professional growth, an apartment or house that we considered our home.
A place is a symbol of the experiences and feelings that were had there – moments of joy, reflection, connection, stillness, growth, laughter, as examples – and so when we lose a particular location, we are also losing the feelings and moments this place brings to us.
Places can symbolize ritual, habit, and routine, which brings many of us a sense of comfort and certainty. Which is why when we lose a place there may be feelings of sadness, anger, hopelessness, helplessness, or loss of control.
So how do we mourn a location? The answer is much the same as with other types of grief. It is important to realize there is no “right way” to grieve; for every person the experience is different.
Two key strategies to managing grief and loss are acknowledgement and acceptance.
First, acknowledge how you are feeling and why. “I’m angry because the owner of my favorite store is a great person and this isn’t fair.” “I’m feeling lonely because I counted on this class to connect with these friends.” “I’m frustrated because everything feels so uncertain now that I’m out of my routine.” It can feel freeing and validating to give your emotions a voice.
Second, finding acceptance in the situation. Acceptance doesn’t mean you accept the circumstances of the situation, rather, you are not resisting and fighting or denying reality, and instead approaching the loss with awareness and understanding.
Finally, counseling can be incredibly helpful in helping clients with grief and loss. Please reach out to me for more information or if you are ready for support. Be Well!
